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Posted by Judy on 4/26/2003 from 205.188.208.108:

Well, the news now is not good. The biopsies from the bronchoscopy show adenocarcinoma from the breast. There is also a mass that the doctors are not being clear on within the lining of the lung and this is what is putting the pressure on my Mom's esophagus. She has had two radiation treatments so far and her oncologist is due back from vacation on Monday. We will see what is what then hopefully. We are getting mixed answers to our questions, my Mom's pulmonologist did not tell us about this mass. The radiology oncologist is the one who dropped the bomb on her about this and apparently, they can only radiate part of the mass. We don't know if this "mass" is the scar tissue that she had biopsied a few months ago or something entirely different. We don't know, if this is the scar tissue which is a thickening of the lining of the lung, if the scar tissue has increased in size or if the thickening has gotten thicker. Even with a pulmonologist in the family, we are having a hard time getting specific answers, even though we have told all of her doctors that we want to know EVERYTHING, no matter how bad it is. This is so frustrating! We don't know for sure if this is "the beginning of the end" or if this is something that can be treated. I am seriously thinking of pulling her out of the local community hospital that she goes to and switching her to doctors that work out of the Medical Center that I work for, even though it is farther away for my Mom and siblings. My siblings are all so wonderful - we are all sharing the load equally. My Mom is at my one sister's now - she was discharged from the hospital yesterday. Then she will spend a few days with my other sister before coming back to me. My brother and his wife are doing a lot of the running around (they can't take her to their house because they have a cat that she is highly allergic to - don't need to add an allergic reaction to the mix). We will all take a day to drive her to her radiation treatments. Thank God we are all in this together. I do have a terrific family and my Mom is the "Matriarch". We are so close to her, she is so great - doesn't interfere, minds her own business (except, of course, when absolutely necessary, she will pull me aside and let me know if she thinks I am being to strict or lenient with my teenager - which she does in a really nice way). I know that I am painting the picture of a "Father Knows Best" family, but we have had our share of problems that we have managed to work through, because we really do all love eachother - which is a tribute to my Mom. That is why this is so hard on me. I don't know how I will carry on without her. I know that I have to and that I will find a way (intellectually), but my heart is so heavy at the thought of losing her and not having her to call when I need to talk or share some great news. We love to go shopping together and just hang out, even if we are not talking, just being near eachother is nice. We discuss this all the time, so I know she feels the same way. I am sorry for rambling, but you all have been so great at listening to me and offering your support and prayers. I keep all of you in my prayers for the illness that you suffer and for the angels you are. Judy

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